Big fat friendship thing
by Neelee
Summary: I'm exploring the nuances of Rachel's and Janet's friendship, and other people's reactions to it.
1. Chapter 1: Pub

Summary: I'm exploring the nuances of Rachel's and Janet's friendship, and other people's reactions to it.

Chapter: Pub

**Members of syndicate 9 meet in a crowded pub and Rachel is quite embarrassed because of a tipsy Janet.**

**AN: This is my first fanfic in English, and at least two more chapters are in process. Thank you HedgieX for beta! Still, all the mistakes are mine.**

"It's such a waste! You and Rachel, you seem to start pawing one another every time you get hammered." Kevin's drunken comment made Janet take a long look at him. She articulated very clearly, which actually didn't make her sound less tipsy:

"Shut up, Kev. It's FULL in here, that's why I'm sitting on Rachel's lap. I'm not sitting on her FACE, if you can tell the difference." Kevin stared at Janet, completely taken aback, trying to come up with something witty.

"Wow, Scotty, you seem to get quite aggressive, when you are pissed. But what if I was sitting on, let's say, Pete's lap, you'd react too, wouldn't you?"

Janet grinned cheerfully at him. "I wouldn't mind you doing that, Kevin. Just go ahead, if you feel like it!"

Rachel tried to look unconcerned and went on talking to Lee, just giving Kevin a quick 'you moron, mind your own business' look. But she couldn't help thinking that Janet had gone on thin ice and wondered where she was going to be by the time they had emptied the wine bottle. Janet was already more than tipsy, Rachel could tell that from her choice of words. Usually Janet kept up to a certain level and used her (surprisingly wide and rich) vulgar repertoire only on special occasions, and never when her family or male colleagues were around. Rachel was sure that Kevin would not leave the topic there.

"Move your arse, Janet. I gotta pee." Rachel pushed Janet aside.

"Why so crabby, pal?" Janet gave her a very warm smile and Rachel couldn't help smiling back at her. Rachel left her sitting alone on their shared chair and hoped that they would have found a bigger table by the time she was back. They hadn't, and Janet didn't just settle on her lap, she even leaned back and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. If it hadn't been for the comment from Kevin, Rachel would have enjoyed it. Well, at some level she was proud of Janet who didn't seem to care what some idiot like Kevin thought of her. She was proud of Janet who dared to squeeze her in public, tipsy or not. It was not typical of Janet to be provocative, but when their friendship - or whatever it was - was at stake, she spoke her mind, and a bit more. She had been like that in front of Gill, oh god Rachel didn't want to think about that incident, and now this with Kevin.

Rachel wondered if she should stop drinking to be able to control Janet, or drink more, in order to stop caring about it at all. Kevin had shut up for a while, but his eyes flickered continuously around Janet and Rachel, obviously trying to work out a stunningly stupid remark. Rachel decided not to care. Kevin had no right to spoil her evening. She decided to enjoy the lovely, warm weight of Janet's bum on her thighs, inhale the smell of her hair and perfume right next to her nose. Janet's arm touched her neck and hand caressed her bare upper arm every now and then. It was seemingly thoughtless, but Rachel got little shivers, not really exciting, but very pleasant. She knew she'd say yes, if Janet suggested 'a cup of tea' afterwards. At least Rachel would make sure that they'd have a chance for a quick snog. When she thought about that, she saw Gill through the window, coming over the street.

"Let's get a chair for Godzilla." Rachel tried to chase Janet on her feet. Kevin thought this was his chance.

"Look at you! Are you afraid of her seeing you like that, coming with her torch and so on?" Kevin gave a meaningful look at Pete's direction.

"Oh just shut up, Kev! Don't be daft." Rachel tried to sound purely bored, not having least concerns for Gill's opinion. Janet didn't let Kevin go that easy. Now standing by the table and leaning sneaky towards Kevin, she announced:

"I can tell you that actually I'd fancy a quickie with Rachel right now and it was nice if you could tell that to Gill. That we've gone snogging and will be back sooner... Or later". Her words had the wished effect on Kevin, he went quiet. Janet pulled Rachel with her through the crowd towards the door. They passed Gill at the door.

"Going for a fag?" Gill asked.

"And for a shag, if I'm lucky". Janet's face was deadpan, and so was Gill's when she told them to have fun.

"You're mad, Janet! What's driving you tonight?" Rachel exhaled some of the smoke right into Janet's face. Janet didn't step back.

"Sorry, I might be a bit tipsy." Janet didn't look like being really sorry. She didn't look that tipsy either, shivering in the cold and looking Rachel teasingly in the eyes. Rachel tried to maintain her annoyed tone. She was half pissed off, half thrilled. "You're mad, Janet Scott, did you know that."

Janet smiled. "Maybe. But I just can't help myself, it's so lovely to get that kid quiet for a second, and trouble his thick head."

"I didn't mean just Kevin. You wicked lady, you just enjoy too much squeezing me. I've got nothing against it, but when it's the lads and Gill... I just get confused. Nothing like being ashamed, don't think that. I've just kind of liked having some secrets only with you." Rachel noticed that her voice wasn't as steady as she had wanted it to be.

Janet looked guilty. "Sorry if I ruined that. But obviously, it has not been a proper secret, because Kevin was already hinting at it, and it wasn't the first time. And Gill knows anyway."

Rachel shrugged. "You're right, but…" Rachel didn't know when it had happened, but Janet was now standing right in front of her. "Please Janet, it's fine you don't care, but I do care. A little anyway." Janet was now so close that Rachel could feel her breathe on her throat.

And there it was. It was Rachel who started kissing Janet hungrily, not the other way round. Janet's old trick, she always knew how to get to her if she wanted. It didn't happen often though. They could work for days and weeks and even spend time together, and there was no sign of mutual or one-sided attraction. Maybe it was part of the thrill, knowing that it was there, safe for some nice moment, but not now. Everything was fine without "it", but "it" was OK too. Like now. It usually happened like this, Janet chasing and teasing Rachel, getting the impulse god knows from where, and Rachel being reluctant, or trying to be. Well, pretending was not her best skill. But often she really was more or less hesitant.

Rachel knew from previous experience that she would go along willingly if she ended up touching or kissing Janet. If they just got into it, it worked well, it was the most natural and lovely thing to do. It would be at least comforting, sometimes even exciting. Not that wild, though. But she didn't feel like it beforehand, not really. The thought of it wasn't anything unpleasant either. Janet was just something so casual, so everyday business, not exactly exciting. Not even when Rachel tried bringing in mind some of their encounters which sometimes had led to... Well, Rachel could actually say she had shagged Janet. It had been sex. Not just cuddling and fooling around. In a way, it reminded her of her early history with Sean.Rachel had ended up shagging him every now and then over the years. It had always been clear that it was not going to be anything serious. Or actually it had been drop dead serious, because it had been a great friendship, after all.

It was Janet who pulled apart. They were both breathless. Janet grinned jubilantly. Rachel raised her eyebrows. "What?" Janet smiled even more cheekily, knowingly. "Ok, yeah, I know, I'm easy."

Janet laughed at her and then asked in an exaggeratedly persuading tone: "Will you forgive me, embarrassing you in there?" "No." Janet's warm hands wrapped around Rachel's waist, gentle blue eyes making her feel so special and loved all of a sudden.

"No. But in order to avoid more public embarrassment, I'm taking you to my place very soon."

"Sure, pal." Seeing Janet's sparkling eyes was actually as good as kissing her. Rachel had first mistaken Janet for a more serious and guarded woman, but she had been completely wrong, and when it came to their private 'thing' she was even more reckless than Rachel. "Now please, Jan, no big show in the pub."

"You bugger up my plans, pal."

They went back inside to collect their handbags. Kevin whistled, Rachel flicked him a quick V.

"Oh there you are!" Gill appeared behind their backs, coming from the bar. "I was afraid I'd have to spend the whole evening with these people."

"I'm afraid you have to, we were just about to leave." Janet smiled apologizing.

"Hell no, you're not going anywhere. I just arrived, that would be highly inappropriate." A silent negotiation went on between Rachel and Janet. Janet's eyes seemed to agree on being civil in front of Gill, understood to serious plea and worry on Rachel's face.

Kevin tried to be cool, but he still seemed to be shocked, trying to figure out if there really was something going on, or if Janet was just playing silly buggers with him. Had Janet really wanted him to say the quickie-thing to Gill? He had a vague hunch that there was a dog buried in that, but he couldn't tell which way. Now there were enough seats, one for every woman, and man. Janet and Rachel were still sitting side by side, but nothing was really happening - or Kevin did not see what was going on under the table. Probably nothing. But then he couldn't believe his ears, again.

"Rachel, I'm sorry, I'm going home, I'm too pissed and too tired now for that shagging thing at your place. Tomorrow perhaps?" Janet was on purpose speaking quite loudly, so that at least Kevin could hear. He was holding his breath. Rachel was quite pissed now and could keep a poker face for once.

"Ok, if you say so. Let's get you a cab, then." Gill had obviously been listening. "I'm leaving too. Good night, lads."

They stood outside the pub, waiting for a cab. Rachel couldn't tell how serious Gill was, bollocking Janet:

"You are really pushing poor Kevin over the edge! I should send you to a diversity class because of harassment. I mean not for harassing Bailey, which might be happening too, but for causing Kevin some serious trauma. I don't care what you two keep up to, but I tell you not to troubleDC Lumb's limited understanding any more.

Inside the cab, Rachel wondered how on earth she had been eager to take Janet to her flat just two hours earlier. Janet who was now telling some boring story about her boring husband and boring mother. Rachel had heard it already, at least once. Deep down Rachel knew that it would have been a nice thing to do, taking Janet with her two hours ago. Maybe that would have ended up in bed. Or just cuddling on the sofa, forgetting all the worries. But right now it seemed all very distant, she was not in the mood at all. And neither was Janet. What a relief.


	2. Chapter 2: Pemb

Chapter: Pemb

**Series 4, after episode 4. Janet tries to talk with Rachel who has found out that Janet would have been Gill's first choice to be the sergeant. Somehow Will Pemberton ends up listening to a long list of confessions.**

_Janet is standing at Rachel's door. It's late. Serious and tired faces, strained voices._

Janet: We gotta talk, Rachel.

Rachel: About what? I think there's absolutely nothing to talk about.

Janet: Gill told me what she'd said to you.

Rachel: There's nothing to change the facts. And please drop the subject, Pemb is here.

_Rachel whispers the last words._

Janet: You haven't told him?

Rachel: That's none of your business.

Janet: Rach. Me and you have to talk about it anyway, sooner or later.

Rachel: Come in, then. 

* * *

><p><em>They go inside. Rachel is standing, not asking Janet to sit down.<em>

Rachel: Will, you have met Janet, have you?

Will: I've heard a lot about you.

Janet: Well, you'll hear more in a minute.

Will: Oh?

_Will looks from Janet to Rachel and back._

Janet: Rachel's mad at me and for a reason. Our marvellous boss let slip that actually she wanted me to have the sergeant's job and I had said no, and she had offered it to Rachel, as a second choice. What she didn't tell -

Rachel: Janet, how on earth could you pretend to my best buddy and NOT to tell me anything about it? You must have known it was gonna come out someday.

Janet: - what Gill didn't tell you was that she told me not to tell you, not on any circumstances.

Rachel: And you really thought it was alright?

Janet: Of course not! It was just the lesser of two evils. And I still think that you've had enough pressure and trouble without thinking that you weren't the first choice.

Rachel: Don't come and tell me that you're proud of what you've done!

_Rachel's tone is heated, all her body language telling a clear 'fuck you Janet'._

Janet: I didn't want to say so. I'm really really sorry. I just hope you can see my point of view in this. Some day.

Rachel: Why didn't you take the job?

Janet: It was the morning after Elise told us she was moving out. I had tried to call you in the evening but you didn't pick up the phone. I didn't have a proper chance to tell you about it and there I was, with Gill's offer.

Rachel: I got it, in a way, but you know how humiliated I feel now? In front of Gill, and in front of you.

Janet: You've done a great job, Rach. We're all proud of you. I'm honestly happy for you.

Will: Rachel, when did Gill tell you?

Rachel: Yesterday evening. I drove her home.

_Rachel doesn't mention that Gill had been pissed, not in front of Will Pemberton. She might tell Janet someday. Might._

Will: Why didn't you tell me that you were so upset?

Rachel: I tried to come to terms with it myself first.

Will: You could have told. I can see that you have good reason to be pissed off and upset.

Rachel: And I was ashamed to tell you that I was the second choice sergeant.

Will: Oh, for God's sake, Rachel, you really shouldn't think so.

_Rachel shrugs and bits her lip._

Janet: Rach, are we somewhat OK now?

Rachel: I dunno, Jan. I really need time to sort this out with myself.

Janet: Speak to Gill. I already bollocked her today.

Rachel: I'm sorry for snapping at you in the morning. But really, don't try to do my work, it can really piss me off.

Janet: I just would like you to think that we are on the same side. And speak to me when I happen to piss you off.

Rachel: I try. Are you coming with me outside for a fag? 

* * *

><p><em>When the door closes behind them Janet wraps her arms around Rachel.<em>

Janet: Sorry, mate.

_Rachel doesn't pull away, but she doesn't hug her back either. She lights her cigarette and takes a deep breath. Janet waits for a while._

Janet: Do you trust him? Do you speak to him? He seems to be OK.

Rachel: I dunno. I haven't told him anything, actually. I mean things. About me.

Janet: Oh Rach. What do you think, when is the right time then? I'm not saying that you should tell everything about your past at once, right here and now, but -

Rachel: Look at you, Janet. When it's about me, I'm supposed be so fucking open-minded, and when it's about you going behind my back, it's all right to shut up. Actually, you could come inside and kindly tell him, let's say, three worst things about me, and see what would happen.

Janet: I know what would happen. He'd feel bad because you didn't tell him earlier.

Rachel: I'm starting to like the idea. You pick the things, but give me a sign first and I'll decide if you can tell him.

Janet: Hell no.

Rachel: I think you owe me something today. And I really know I should start talking, you're right. I'm just scared I'll get cold feet in the middle of it and start lying, and will be in even deeper shit at the end of the day.

Janet: Alright, if you really think it's necessary. But please don't let him think that it's me who wants it.

Rachel: Don't you?

Janet: Oh shut up, Rach.

Rachel: Come on. And please don't try to tell anything that would really ruin my career. Like the PNC-thing. 

* * *

><p><em>They are back inside. Will is told what is going to happen.<em>

Will: I feel really honoured that you are going to tell me something yourself, Rachel. But this concept freaks me out a bit.

Rachel: It's because I don't want to be left all alone if you decide to walk out the door at some stage.

Will: This REALLY starts to freak me out. But I'm listening.

Janet: OK. And this is not in any order, like worst things first or last. The first code… Family? Or do we take them as separate points?

_Janet sounds like they are briefing a case._

Rachel: OK, but leave out the latest stuff about Dom for later.

Janet: So… Rachel has got a really nice sister, Alison. I don't know about their dad, I've been assuming he's dead, has had his last drink. Their mother, Sharon, is a mess, a real first class fuck-up. You'll know what I mean when you meet her. By the way, I paid for her cab the other day. And yes, Rach, I gave the money to the cabbie, not to her. Then, Rachel has got a baby brother Dom, he's locked up in Strangeways. Anything you'd like to add, Rach, or shall I give the next code?

_Will sits quiet, face deadpan. Rachel holds her breath._

Rachel: Go on.

Janet: The code is… the bastard?

Rachel: OK. But keep it short, will you?

Janet: Rachel was about to marry someone who hired a hit man to kill her. Short enough?

Rachel: Add Dom.

Janet: Dom killed the bastard.

Will: Oh Christ!

_Will can't keep his pokerface anymore._

Will:That was too short for me. But I'll give you a chance to tell me more later, Rachel.

Janet: And the next code is… erm… 8 months?

Rachel: Alright.

Janet: Rachel married her old friend Sean, shagged others and dumped him. Short enough?

Rachel: Yeah.

_Rachel looks relieved and smiles suddenly._

Rachel: And I have a code for you, Janet. Scott and Bailey?

Janet: Like the number four on the list of your dark secrets? Well, it depends on what you're pointing at… Or never mind, tell just whatever you like.

_Janet rolls her eyes, looking quite relaxed._

Rachel: Will, if you still want to have something to do with me after you've heard all of this, and the complementary details… There's something you'd notice sooner or later. That you're not just getting me around. Janet will be there too, present or not. She's my real family and best friend. And… she's been my occasional bed buddy too. What's not the point in telling you this... It's all about being loyal to her. We had a major fall out some months ago, I really fucked up, and after that the loyalty thing hasn't been that obvious. Like I didn't tell her about you right away and she didn't tell me about the sergeant thing. But still, there hasn't been anything like her in my life before. And I can point out right away that I'm not in love with her, it's a big fat friendship thing in the first place.

_Janet wipes some tears away and smiles at Rachel._

Will: Wow. Is there anything else you'd like to confess now, Rachel Bailey? 

**AN: Thanks again, HedgieX! And please review.**


	3. Chapter 3: Best friends

Chapter: Best friends

**This might have happened before series 1. Thanks for beta, HedgieX!**

"What was that for, pal?" Rachel rested her head against the cushions of her couch, cracking a very warm smile to Janet, who was sitting next to her, her face just a couple of inches away. Janet had kissed her on the lips. It hadn't been just a quick peck, but not much more either.

"I guess it was me telling you that you mean a lot to me. That I think of you as my best friend. Not everybody finds a new best friend at 46." Janet's smile was a bit shy. Not like she was unsure what Rachel had thought about the kiss, because her happily surprised grin could be seen from miles away. Maybe Janet was a bit taken aback by her own acknowledgment, by the earnest tone in her voice. It wasn't like Janet to explicitly talk about her feelings. Rachel was more familiar with a quick squeeze of an arm or a warm, almost flirty smile flicked towards her.

Rachel couldn't help speaking the first thing that came to mind. "You poor sod, you must be really short of friends." Janet rolled her eyes, but Rachel could see that Janet still looked a bit uncertain, which looked kind of strange on her. Rachel fathomed that she might have said the wrong thing. She was afraid of letting something equally stupid slip out of her mouth, so she simply stroke Janet's cheek with her fingertips, cupped her face and kissed her.

Rachel didn't exactly think about gaining time for figuring out how to say something nicer when she let the kiss go longer than the one she had received. She was just happy to notice that Janet was kissing her back. So this had been the right thing to do. She pulled apart, letting her hands rest on Janet's shoulders.

"I think the world of you, Jan. I'm proud of being your best friend. I guess you're mine too." Rachel didn't know if it had been the kiss or the words, but Janet looked better now, that lovely flirty smile was there again.

"That's nice to hear, pal." Rachel expected Janet to say something about the kisses, but she didn't. She had a feeling that Janet knew what she was thinking, because she just grinned at her knowingly. It didn't feel awkward, Janet reading her mind. Because she had to believe that Janet really liked her, even though she knew her and her silly thoughts quite well.

"I'll get us more wine!" Rachel stood up. She had thought it was time to break the spell, but she was surprised by the empty and cold feeling in her hands. It had been good to have them on Janet.

"I'm fine. And I guess I'd better be heading home, before I get more sentimental and embarrassing."

Rachel shrugged. "Ok. Thanks for coming."

Janet hugged her at the door. It was a surprising hug. Janet knew a way to come really near her, in a very comfortable way, letting her head rest a while on her shoulder. Rachel could clearly feel Janet's body pressed gently against her own, the lovely heat of it, the smell of her perfume, so well-known to her. And a moment later she was gone, driving home in her red VW Touran. Rachel felt she was gaping, still standing at the door. The look she had just got from Janet, it wasn't special in any way. Like she exactly knew what she was doing, and there wasn't anything in it. Just hugging her goodbye. Well, if her wise and sensible Janet thought so, Rachel was more than fine with it.

She heard Janet's voice in her mind, "Stop gaping, Bailey, and go back inside, now." A smug smile spread over Rachel's face and she finally managed to turn around and go inside.


End file.
